Religion - especially the fun bits with lots of big hats, incense, angels and charging about declaring people who piss you off heretics - is a pretty big part of GLOGing, despite being nowhere in the original source documents. Few GLOGhacks feel complete without cryptic faithposting and colour coded theologies, heresies and iconoclasts. Despite this there's little agreement on the definitive form of a GLOG cleric the way there is with wizards. Deus ex parabola's masked cleric is the closest, for good reason, but is deeply tied to a specific setting. Iron & Ink's Mystic is pretty good, but hard to write for and interpret, which I suspect is why it didn't catch on. This is not an attempt to codify the definitive GLOG cleric, just throwing my hat in the ring. This take isn't fully my own, the structure is adapted from one of my favourite depictions of priestly characters in an RPG; New Fire: the Temikamatl Book of Dreams, a mesoamerican fantasy game. The mechanics are pure GLOG though. There's also a lot of Locheil's Magos in here, I've already been effusive about my love of it.
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All art taken from New Fire |
Wizards scoff at you behind their spell books, so sure that their power is earned while yours is merely begged for. Arrogant fools! Do they think just anyone can bare the judging eye of the g_ds without their soul being flensed, folded, spindled and burned? Mortals are but kindling before the raging soul-fire of the divine. But not you.
You endured the ekstasis that comes with direct contact with the g_ds, though at times your spine near cracked with the convulsions and you had to piece together your blasted identity bit by bit over and over again, but it was worth it. Now you are spiritually fireproof, able to bare the terrible weight of a g_d without breaking, feel the heat of its touch without being consumed, look into the sun without going blind.
Learn that from a book.
Class: Priest
Every template you have in this class gives you +1 Save and +1 Miracle Die. You can wear light armour and cannot fumble with daggers, whips, flails, stones, and your Order's holy weapon.
Starting skill: determined by Order (see below).
Starting Equipment: The robes and jewelry of your Order, sacrificial knife, your Order's holy weapon, pouch of entheogenic herbs, small wooden rod covered in bite-marks, a relic (see below), one item from the list below.
A: Order, Invocation, Ordained
B: Exhort, Vox Dei
C: Applied Theology
D: Archpriest
A: Order
Choose an Order to belong to, your Order has five g_ds it specialises in venerating, and keeps relics of those g_ds in its temples. You start with a relic of one of your Order's g_ds of your choice. When you visit a temple belonging to your Order you can exchange any relics you are carrying for others belonging to g_ds that your Order venerates. Relics don't grow on trees though, so if you break or lose one expect to have to perform some onerous service before they'll let you lend out another one.
Each order also has a preferred means of sacrifice, a way of appeasing the g_ds to remove Hubris. You can sacrifice in other ways too, but those will always only remove 1 Hubris per attempt, and are usually more onerous than what you have to do to get the equivalent through your Order's preferred method.
A: Invocation
You can summon the attention of the g_ds, and invoke the miracles associated with their mythos. You do this using Miracle Dice, which are very much like Magic Dice, except they are d4's by default (more on this later), they return to you on a 1-3 regardless of what size die they are.
Seeing as priests spend more time in contact with the g_ds than most, they also tend to piss them off a lot more and don't think a life of service to the divine immunises you from damnation, hell is full of priests. If you roll any doubles you incur 1 point of Hubris. If you roll any triples you take 5. Hubris is a measure of how far you've annoyed the g_ds, acquire too much and they'll squash you in some karmically appropriate way.
You can invoke the miracles of a g_d as long as you are in the presence of one of their idols, in a place holy to them, or carrying one of their relics. Relics take up 1 inventory space each. You can also use the Blessing of any relic you carry for free.
Each Order is associated with five g_ds; one for each direction and one for the Center direction. You can carry up to your number of Templates of relics at once. You can always carry the Central g_ds relic without danger, and you can invoke g_ds outside of your Order's as long as you are carrying their relics, but if you carry relics belonging to g_ds of opposite directions then they will fight with each other when invoked.
If you invoke a miracle of a g_d while carrying a relic belonging to a g_d of their opposing direction, a second miracle of the opposing g_ds domain will also manifest in an inconvenient way, wherever possible to thwart whatever you attempted to do with the initial invocation. A blast of fire might strike someone you just healed, or an enemy you slew with a divine arrow might be reanimated as an undead, depending on the domains of the opposing g_ds. Each time this occurs earns you d6 Hubris.
Relics are usually quite fragile and must be treated with care and reverence, they in a very real sense are a g_d. When a priest makes camp they must build and consecrate a temporary shrine to place their relics in, which takes at least an hour. Enemies might be inclined to try destroying them, this might be successful but is still a terrible idea, as it is a direct attack on the g_ds' person.
If you are invoking a miracle in a place holy to the g_d or in sight of one of their idols (a large, non-portable representation) then your MD are rolled as one size larger.
A: Ordained
You are Holy, and thus can endure the touch of the Divine. Spiritual beings that are less Holy than you, such as most spirits, elves and ghosts - but not demigods, giants and monsters directly created by a g_d - will avoid annoying or offending you, though they probably don't like you.
You can touch idols, relics and sacred objects without harm or risk of being cursed, even if they belong to a g_d who is not your own. People who are not Holy tend to go mad, or become lepers if they spend too much time around an idol. You must still treat these objects with proper respect and reverence to enjoy this protection.
B: Exhort
Each day you may choose one of the g_ds whose relic you have access to lavish with praise. When Invoking that g_ds miracles your MD are considered one step larger (d4 to d6, d6 to d8, etc). This stacks with the usual bonus from casting in a holy site or in the presence of an idol.
B: Vox Dei
You can speak the universal language of the supernal. G_ds, spirits, giants and other divine and semidivine beings can converse with you naturally. Vox Dei is so pure in its expression of meaning that even beings who don't speak it can get the gist of what you mean when you talk to them in it, though details like proper nouns and numbers don't really translate.
C: Applied Theology
Choose one of your Order's g_ds. Your MD are permanently considered Exhorted for this g_d and one die of your choice can be set to its maximum value if it would save you from gaining Hubris.
You may now research new miracles for any relic you carry. Each relic can hold 1 additional miracle associated with its g_ds' domains. When you research a new miracle, name your relic and write a line or two in how its origin fits the miracle you've created for it. That relic now becomes a unique item with that miracle bound to it, if it is destroyed that miracle is lost forever.
D: Archpriest
You can now Exhort twice per day, you can even Exhort the same g_d twice if you wish.
You are assigned the services of a curate or underpriest, who is quite skilled in organising things, remembering dates and schedules and is Holy enough to carry one of your relics for you, so you can bring along a g_d who conflicts with another without risk of them fighting.
You are distressingly likely to be kidnapped, possibly because your body parts can now be made into relics of your Order's g_ds.
ORDERS
The Shining Ones
Skill: 1. Oratory 2. Painting 3. Choreography
Robes: White, embroidered.
Jewels: Peacock Feather Cloak.
Holy Weapon: Staff
Preferred Sacrifice: Gauntlet - the priest proclaims their transgressions before their congregation and encourages those gathered to chastise them. If the crowd is encouraged to use scorn and insults, lose 1 hubris. If they use canes and rotten fruit, d3. If rocks and fists, d6. Can also be performed on corrupt public officials and cruel nobles rather than the priest themselves. You can perform this sacrifice no more often than once per year in any given community where your Order has a presence.
Doctrine:
Mystics and philosophers may claim that true piety requires nothing but silence and one's own thoughts but they don't have to till the fields all day. Nobody has time to learn the ways of the g_ds and master their trade, the common people need more to believe; we give it to them. Our Order puts on the biggest, flashiest ceremonies, with the finest musicians and the most splendidly crafted ritual tools. We own the most glorious temples, filled with light, art and drifting incense. We hold the grandest festivals, raucous and intoxicating. When our sacrifices go under the knife they do so beaming with pride, arrayed like princes of the earth, and die in glory. It may seem gaudy and excessive, and other Orders certainly aren't shy about decrying us as base and materialist, but all of it serves to make the world of the g_ds easier to understand and care about, bringing a little sliver of heaven down to the dirt where the farmer and the miner can touch it.
G_ds:
Great Starry Queen (Centre)
Domains: Light, Words, Healing
Holy Ground: Hilltops at night, towers.
Blessing: See as far and clearly at night as you can by day, as long as stars are visible in the sky.
Starlight
R: sight T: none D: [dice]x2 hours
You produce a glittering orb of blue-white light, looking for all the world like a star the size of a grapefruit, that sheds bright light in a 20’+[dice]x10’ radius. You can move the star to any point you can see by asking it to go there, it will hear you no matter what language you speak or how quietly. You can also ask the star to follow you or another being you can see, and at what elevation. If you spend 4 MD you can instead summon the Bar of Heaven, a pillar of starlight that stretches from the ground to an arbitrarily high point in the sky, illuminating the entire area from horizon to horizon as brightly as a summer's evening. The Bar of Heaven is typically reserved for conducting surprise night battles and the most auspicious festivals.
Soothing Hand
R: Touch T: 1 creature D: Instant
Your touch restores [sum] hp of damage, stops bleeding and heals minor breaks and sprains. It will also alleviate the symptoms and halt the progression of poisons and diseases for [dice] days, hopefully keeping the patient alive long enough to seek a cure.
Sacred Light (East)
Domains: Fire, Leadership, Blood
Holy Ground: Courts, Battlefields
Blessing: You can ask the DM if what you are about to do is illegal or dishonourable in the land you are in, they will tell you the truth.
Ignite
R: reach T: a creature or object struck by your weapon D: instant
Make an attack against the target with +[dice] to-hit. If the attack hits, target takes an additional [sum] points of fire damage without a save. Inanimate objects are hit automatically. If you target your Holy Weapon with this Miracle, the Duration becomes [best] rounds.
Demagogy
R: n/a T: self D: [best] minutes
Your voice is supernaturally amplified. You speak like a crowd of [best]*[dice] men, women and children. Intelligent beings with fewer HD than [dice] must save to disbelieve anything you tell them. If you spend 4 or more MD, people who hear you speak encouragingly become fearless.
Grieving Matron (West)
Domains: Desire, Destruction, Pain
Holy Ground: Sites of Murder, Starless Nights
Blessing: Touch a corpse no more than a day and a night old, if they have been murdered you know exactly where the weapon is at that moment.
Sense Desire
R: 30' T: 1 creature D: Instant
You sense [dice] of the target's most immediate desires. If you spend 2MD or more, you can ask the question "What would I need to offer them to make them do what I want?" and receive a correct answer. If you spend 4MD you know their deepest desire, it's usually something weird.
Wave of Mutilation
(stolen from Skerples) R: 30' T: objects D: 0
Everything in a 30' cone takes [sum] slashing damage. This spell leaves dozens of deep cuts. It shreds clothing, paper, and other fragile items. At 2MD it also shreds dry wood, bone and other brittle materials, at 4MD it will bore a [best]*2 foot deep hole through a brick wall and skeletonise anything slain by it.
Burning Seed (North)
Domains: Fire, Healing, Destruction
Holy Ground: Hospitals, Forest Fires
Blessing: If you cauterise a wound it will not leave a scar and the wound it guaranteed not to go sceptic.
Purge Sickness
R: Touch T: 1 creature D: Instant
This miracle can be invoked on a living creature to allow them to make a new save against a natural disease or toxin with a bonus equal to the miracle's [dice]. If cast with 4MD it also allows a save against magical diseases, toxins and curses.
Wall of Fire
R: 50' T: [dice]*10' long area D: [sum] rounds
You conjure a 10' high, 5' thick inferno along the targeted area. Anyone trying to pass through it must make a Morale check with the miracle's [dice] as a penalty to try to pass through, and take [sum] damage and are set on fire even if they do.
August Flower (South)
Domains: Beauty, Creation, Death
Holy Ground: Monuments, Flower Fields
Blessing: You can accurately interpret the meaning intended by the artist behind any work of art.
Wind Painting
R: 30' T: [dice]*10' area D: [dice] hours
For the duration you are able to create images both realistic and surreal within the area of the miracle by painting them into existence with your fingertips. You can only use colours that are within your field of view when you invoke the miracle, but may copy textures and with 4MD even make images that move realistically. If you are skilled in painting then anyone you are trying to fool with your image is at disadvantage to see is as illusionary.
R: touch T: creature or object D: [sum] hours >6 permanent
Target made more beautiful. Dirt falls away, pimples disappears, teeth whiten, lice vanish, gouges fill in, and varnish looks new again. This automatically makes anything it is bestowed on saleable for its maximum possible sale price. It will also restore 1d4 points of Charisma if damaged, to former max. If cast with 4MD this Miracle instead can invoke the Pavilion Divine, its target changes to an area of [best]*10 foot radius and can create decorations, flowers, brightly coloured tents and sweet scents throughout the area (incidentally banishing anything foul or noxious).
Hubris:
At 5 or more Hubris your hair takes on the appearance of bird-of-paradise feathers that glow softly in the dark. Stealth becomes difficult without a thick head covering.
At 10 or more Hubris light begins to unnaturally refract around you, making you appear haloed in rainbow hues when in any light brighter than a candle. Enemies attacking you with ranged weapons have advantage when you are in clear light, but you do become immune to blindness and hypnotic lights.
At 15 or more Hubris your skin takes on a beautiful but unnatural hue, like sapphire blue, ruby red or lustrous pearl. Your beauty is such that you gain +1 to all reaction rolls. If you see your own reflection you must Save or become fascinated for 1d6 minutes, unable to take any action other than stare rapt and preen unless dragged away or injured.
At 20 Hubris you are transformed into a hollow, inanimate statue of jade, gold or something similar, worth about 10gp*[your level]. Your spirit is trapped in the hollow within until it is released by your body being broken up. If you were an Archpriest before this happened, your remains are no longer any use as relics.
1d20 Clerical Supplies
1. Hair shirt or cilice, makes most physical actions more difficult and a lot more uncomfortable. Wear it continuously for a week of travel or physical labour (priestly life involves a surprising amount of sweeping and gardening when you first get into it) to remove 1 Hubris. 1/2 a slot, 0 when worn.
2. Consecrated vessel, usually a chalice of some sort. Pour water, wine, oil or milk into it and pray over it for 10 minutes to make the contents holy. 1 slot.
3. Bucket, wood, rope handle, quite sturdy. You could probably throw it at a leper quite hard. Can hold 2 slots of stuff.
4. Bundle of Holy Herbs, when burned gives off a smoke that repels demons, ghosts and elves for as long as the smell lasts. 1/3 of a slot.
5. D6+1 striped ribbons, given as souvenirs at pilgrimage sites, each one has different colours.
6. Clerical Ring, vermeil and amethyst, +1 to reaction rolls. Anyone who swears an oath to you after kissing it will feel pangs of guilt if they contemplate breaking their word.
7. Portable shrine case, reduces the time it takes for you to stow your relics to a 10 minute consecration rite. Takes up 3 inventory slots, can also hold 3 slots worth of relics but has to be reconsecrated if used to hold anything else.
8. An aged mule, strong and obedient but slow, answers to Creeping Gromwell.
9. Book of Comparative Theology, allows you to spend 10 minutes examining an idol or relic of an unfamiliar g_d to determine their direction and domain of influence, with a 3:6 success rate. On a failure this book is of no use. 1/3 slot.
10. FROZEN SUMMER EPOCH, a medium macahuitl who is quite adamant about being a sword, thank you very much. Practices bird calls as a hobby.
11. Big floral arrangement, in a nice jar, very pretty. An ideal gift for anyone, even a g_d appreciates a bouquet. 1 slot.
12. Necklace of teeth, of varying sizes spaced like mala beads, intimidating.
13. Hollow tin idol of one of your Order's g_ds, weighs about as much as a metal trash can. Opening at the base lets someone sit in it and give spooky, echoing pronouncements from within.
14. A Trained Mynah Bird, recites passages of scripture in a convincing human voice.
15. Pouches of powder that turn fires green, blue or white when you throw a handful in. Classic trick to impress the punters. 3 handfuls of each. 1 slot in total.
16. Totemic Mask, copper and turquoise, depicts one of your Order's g_ds; 1. Centre 2. North 3. East 4. South 5. West 6. An unknown foreign g_d.
17. Sandalwood Pattens, make you look about 2 inches taller and keeps the hem of your robe out of the muck. Also let's you ignore caltrops, incidentally. 1 slot, 0 when worn.
18. Reed basket, with shoulder straps, holds 3 slots worth of items.
19. Bottle of Perfume Essence, dilute with water or alcohol to make ten bottles of regular perfume, used neat it lasts for hours and smells strong enough to block out all other scents.
20. A rare curio;
- A writ of indulgence entitling the bearer to perform 1 mortal sin, damnation free. Can also wipe out 5 Hubris, once only.
- Trick glove, thumb is connected to a tarred cloth hose that goes under your robes, behind your back and out your other sleeve. Pack the end of the hose with a tube of poison powder, make an appropriately mystical gesture and blow into your thumb to spray a ruffian. 1 slot, 0 when worn.
- PRAISE BE-, a broken takoba, dagger-sized. Amnesiac, but eager. If reunited with the rest of its blade - currently occupying the gullet of a sea monster - becomes a +3 medium weapon.
- Box of Blessed Salt, place a pinch on the tongue before quaffing a potion to ignore any negative effects or curses. 2d4-1 pinches. 1/3 slot.
- A Staff of Office, rosewood with an ostentatious finial, undead and unholy things have to save to get within 30ft of it, and if they do it counts as a blessed weapon.
- An Archpriest's seal, will open a lot of doors and impress important people with the seriousness of your mission. Roll a d6 when you select this item - on a 5-6, you shouldn't have this.