GLOGTOBER - These Truths We Hold To Be Self Evident - (BoB Class: Tinfoil Psychic)

 A class for ModronRPG's BUCKETS OF BLOOD

I may not know much, but this I do know;

The Moon Landing was Stanley Kubrick's masterpiece.

The British Royal Family have more genes in common with a Komodo Dragon than any branch of the Genus Homo.

There is a United Nations exclusion fleet surrounding Antarctica, to keep you from finding out that it's a wall of ice surrounding the world.

Australia doesn't exist, any "Australian" you have ever met is a NWO crisis actor.

Modern technology is purchased by the global elites from the clockwork elves that live outside our vibrational plane with the vital fluids of children as the tender.

... like I'm pretty sure, call it 60/40.

Fluoridated water calcifying your pineal gland? Now that's 1000% accurate. You can be certain about that. After all, I don't drink it and I have vast untrammeled psychic powers.

Class: Tinfoil Psychic
Odd Templates give you +1 to Sneaking, even ones give you +1 to Saves, every one gives you +1PD.

Starting Equipment: A big hooded khaki coat, military surplus clothing, a bugout bag containing; a taser, a jar of internet-purchased nootropics, a pen knife, 7 MREs, a nalgene bottle of filtered water, and a well-worn stress ball.
Starting Skill: 1. Internet Research 2. Pharmaceuticals 3. Neurolingusitic Programming 4. Cybersecurity 5. Alertness 6. Pattern-Seeking

A: Psionics, Greenpilled
B: Epistaxis Telepathica
C: Deeper State
D: Unstoppable Science Fiction Boy

A: Psionics
Clean living, constant heightened awareness and secret knowledge of the terrifying truth of reality has unlocked the psychic potential of your mind. You start with 2 psychic disciplines unlocked, gaining their latent and Operant functions. When you level up you can either gain a new discipline or unlock the Apex function of one of your already known disciplines.

Latent functions can be used at will, Operant and Apex functions require you to roll Pineal Dice (PD), they are d6's. On a 1-3 they return to your hand, on a 4-6 they burn out until you rest. Doubles cause psychic phenomena, triples increase your level of Scrutiny.

If you have unlocked the Apex level function of a discipline, you may voluntarily set your PD's to 6 instead of rolling, these count for purposes of triggering psychic phenomena and Scrutiny as normal.

One of your our PD also automatically burns out if you engage in any of the following;

1. Drinking unfiltered fluoridated water or eating food boiled in it.
2. Using a 5G enabled mobile device.
3. Utilise FDA-approved pharmaceuticals.
4. Have an RFID tag on your person for 30+ minutes.

A: Greenpilled
Your mind is unclouded by 5G signals and neurolinguistic programming. You have a Templates:6 chance to see through illusions, shake off mind control, spot hidden doors and items and you can see fnords.

Whenever you gain a Template in this class, tell the DM a terrifying truth that you believe. The DM then rolls a D6 in secret, if it gets under your current #Templates, it turns out to be completely true, even if it wasn't before.

B: Epistaxis Telepathica
You can add additional PD when activating functions, you take damage equal to the [sum] of each additional die, resulting from splitting migranes, bloodshot eyes, bulging veins, and bleeding from the eyes, ears and nose.

C: Deeper State
You have formed a psychic connection to a globe-spanning network of like-minded individuals. It's like having a hivemind of /x/-posters in your head, spamming infowars clips and spookypasta. You can ask the network questions by spending PD, you recieve [highest] answers of 'Yes', 'No' or 'Unclear', unless it related to paranormal, government, corporate or alien activity, in which case the answers can also be 'Yes, and what's more...', 'No, however...' and 'Don't know, but you can find someone who might at...'.

D: Unstoppable Science Fiction Boy
Whenever you are subject to an attack or undesirable effect that isn't a psychic phenomena or Scrutiny, rather than suffer it's effects you can instead flip a coin - on a heads you take D6 damage instead, on a tails you gain a random mutation for D6 hours, Save at the end or it becomes  permanent.

This is what you imagine you are.

DISCIPLINES

Below are the most common psychic disciplines, the ones that come the most instinctively, if you encounter others during your adventure you can unlock them when you next level up. Rumours abound of the legendary disciplines Lawnmower Man, Phantasm, and the terrifying Videodrome.

Carrie
On the astral plane emotion is analogous to energy; you can translate one to the other, converting intent into force.
Latent: Move light objects, like coins, pencils, or bits of paper, at a rate of 5' per round within your line of sight.
Operant: Telekinetically levitate [dice] human-sized creatures or objects, or the equivalent mass, at a rate of [dice]*20' per round, for [sum] rounds. Unwilling targets can Save when levitated, and again on each of their rounds, to struggle free of your mind-grip.
Apex: Create a blastwave of telekinetic force emanating outwards from your body to a range of 20', anyone in this area takes [sum] damage and are thrown back to the edge of the wave. If this would cause them to hit a solid obstruction, they take [sum]*2 damage instead.

Firestarter
Same as the above, but with anger into heat.
Latent: Light candles, cigarettes, paper and other such light combustibles by squinting at them for a round.
Operant: Set a lone motherfucker on fire, for [sum]+[dice] damage, no Save. Or all motherfuckers in a 20' cone, with a Save allowed for half damage. 
Apex: Transform your body into a humanoid pillar of psionic plasma for [sum] rounds. While in this state you are immune to fire, take half damage from conventional weapons, your hands hit as light weapons with a +[dice] bonus to damage, set flammable things you touch on fire and melt any substance less durable than tungsten just by walking through it. You also cannot wield any items that aren't at least that tough, and take d6 damage per bucket-sized quantity of water that hits you. Also, any equipment you didn't remove before transforming is destroyed.

Dreamscape
Every human mind plugs into the astral unconsciously, you can do it while awake.
Latent: You remain aware of your surroundings while asleep.
Operant: Leave your physical body behind while your subtle body moves through the astral realm for [sum] minutes. Your subtle body can teleport to any point within its line of sight and walk through walls as long as they aren't magnetic. While astral, you can also perceive the material world in greyscale and hear sounds from it as if from down an echoing hallway. If your subtle body is trapped (such as being caught in a magnetised cage) and unable to return to your physical body when the duration of this function expires, you are rendered comatose until it is freed.
Apex: While astrally projecting with your Operant function, you can take control of organisms and computer systems unless they Save to resist you (in the case of computers, their sysadmin makes the Save). You can operate the possessed as if their body belonged to you, and read files and operate any networked functions of possessed computers. PC's and named NPC's cannot be forced to perform suicidal actions, nameless NPC's just get an extra Save to resist or you can walk them off cliffs or into oncoming traffic if you wish.

Scanners
We know why you're here.
Latent: You can telepathically converse with someone as long as you are making eye contact.
Operant: For [sum] minutes you can perform a passive scan of the thoughts of any people you can see, hearing their internal monologue as if it was played in your ear and getting flashes of any emotionally charged mental images. You can swap targets during the duration of the function, moving your mental scanning beam from person to person.
Apex: You can perform an active scan, a much more invasive and dangerous form of telepathy. For [dice] rounds you can ask the subject's subconscious a question or to see a part of their memory and receive an answer that is accurate to the best of their knowledge and recollection. The subject can actively feel you rummaging around in their brain, and can attempt to Save to resist. If they fail a Save, however, they take D6+[dice] damage. Anyone who dies of this damage has the core temperature of their brain rise so fast it cracks their skull open like a firecracker in a melon.

Stargate
Distance is also a big government lie, the Buddha said that I'm pretty sure...
Latent: You can hide an object no larger than a doorstopper fantasy novel in an spatial pocket only you can access, taking a round to stow or retrieve. If you die, it appears within 5' of your body with a loud pop.
Operant: You can teleport one creature or object you can touch (yourself included) to any point you can clearly see within [sum]*10'. Unwilling teleportees can Save to shake off your grasp before the transmass field coalesces.
Apex: Punch a 2-way hole in reality to any place you can clearly see or have exact spatial coordinates for relative to your current position. The portal appears at any place within line of sight, and remains open for up to [sum] rounds and is up to [dice]*5' wide.

The Matrix
Sometimes called tactile telekinesis; none of the range, all of the power.
Latent: Your unarmed attacks deal d6 damage.
Operant: For [sum] rounds you can perform unfeasible physical feats; your speed and jump distance is multiplied by 1+[dice] and you can run on walls. If you rolled 2 or more PD activating this function you can also make an extra attack on your round.
Apex: While under the effect of this disciplines' Operant function you can automatically dodge [dice] ranged attacks each round.

Inception
Telepathic mind control is honestly verging on NWO darkside tactics, but hey, they started it.
Latent: If you spend an action performing a small personal ritual you can determine if you are currently hallucinating or being mentally influenced.
Operant: One creature you can see must Save or believe a statement or idea [sum] words long. They can Save again each time the veracity of the idea is contradicted but suffer a cumulative penalty equal to the number of times hey have failed. If this penalty exceeds their level they will permanently become dogmatically obsessed with the truth of it.
Apex: You can edit or erase the memories of others and even yourself. You can delete or alter [dice] facts from the targets' memory, who may Save to resist. With 1PD you can only alter memories that were formed within the past 10 minutes. If at least 2PD are invested this changes to [sum] days, at 3PD [sum] years. If 4PD are invested you can completely rewrite the subject's whole memory, effectively allowing you to completely alter their personality and install a new one of your design. That's super Illuminati though, and PD invested this way are automatically burned out.

Psychic Phenomena

1. Microwave Auditory Effect: You start hearing voices in your head, transmitted there by the NWO using psychotronic warfare. Take D6 damage and are deafened for 1d6 rounds.
2. Biofield Hacking: You are paralysed by morphogenic waves for [dice] rounds.
3. Flamewar: You get into a telepathic shitpost contest with another psychic who is a FUCKING DOUCHE WHO KNOWS HE'S WRONG AND WON'T ADMIT IT, FUUUUUUU-, you cannot activate any more functions for [dice] minutes.
4. False Flag: MKULTRA mind control momentarily assaults your senses to try to make you cause a diplomatic incident. Your function affects a random target instead of it's intended one.
5. Satanic Panic: Luciferian forces engage you in spiritual warfare which drains your psychic reserves, your PD only return on a 1-2 for 24hrs.
6. HAARP Strike: You've really done it this time, the Illuminati turn their geomanipulation weapons on your location. Everyone in the scene has to Save or lose their footing and take D6 damage - 2D6 if inside a building or cave - as a localised earthquake rips through the area.

Scrutiny

1. A mind control satellite makes everyone irrationally hate you for 24hrs. Anyone who lays eyes on you immediately becomes hostile, PC's and friendly named NPC's get a save to resist.
2. As many unmarked black vans full of stormtrooper looking motherfuckers as are necessary turn up, tase anyone who tries to stop them, and black bag you. After 24hrs of interrogation, mild to moderate torture, and a visit from your good buddy Sodium Pentothal, a black sedan screeches past the rest of the party's location and kicks you out on 0hp with all your PD burned out, and a note in your pocket that says 'BEHAVE'. 
3. The New World Order have had enough of your shit. A Project Starwars orbital particle beam cannon from the Reagan administration is reactivated and targeted on your location. You have D6 rounds before it fires, destroying everything within a 3 mile radius of your location. If it fails to kill you, another shot will be scheduled aftet another D6 rounds as soon as you are next under open sky.

I was gonna put another Akira gif here but this is funnier.