GLOGTOBER 2 - SLEB

Gonna be real here - this is basically a shitpost to get this subject over and done with because trying to come up with something interesting to do with slime makes me want to scream. I have spent three weeks gurning at a blank document trying to muster up the will to write. This is what I got.

 Sleb is an artificial mucoform god made by some fucking wizards to avoid damnation for all the fucked up shit they did, like making slime gods.

You want to be a worshiper of Sleb? Be my guest, you sick fuck. Here's how you do it;

Step 1: Find a Slebbite Church, you can usually tell them by the malachite and basalt facias.

Step II: Convince the priest there that you're totally into Sleb and his message, about $50 should suffice.

3rd Step: Said priest will then perform a holy rite known within the Church as the "Opening of the Mind" and outside it as "Amateur trepanation without anesthesia.", followed by a very touching, moving ceremony where he'll remove a piece of your grey matter about the size of a grape, dissolve it in a font full of green stuff (the body of Sleb) and then pour it back in your skull.

Step the Conqueror: Congratulations! Your soul is now safe in the care of a giant dungeon slime that some weird old fucks poked with magic sticks until it started thinking. Don't you feel blessed?

Effects of being a Slebbite: The most immediate effect is permanently losing a point from one of your mental stats, decided at random. You can request whether you want to give up intelligence, wisdom or charisma before undergoing the rite, and the slebbite priests will oblige as best they can, but they're not really skilled brain surgeons, they just do the equivalent of following a youtube instructional video - 50% chance they get the right part, otherwise roll at random.

Here's the upside;

First, you get free telepathic communication with all other slebbites; through the medium of Sleb's sacrament you are all now part of the whole that is Sleb. You know each other's thoughts the way you know where your foot is and what it's feeling.

Second, your soul is protected from interference. Any attempt to possess, trap, obliviate or torment your soul results in the attacker rupturing their own soul in the process, usually this just means that all magic dice they used in the attempt automatically burn out. You also get to go to slebbite heaven when you die. It's kinda shit by standards of most heavens, like a ratty motel compared to the Hilton, but it is guaranteed; there is no slebbite hell.

Third, once per day you can gain a new Skill in any subject of your choice, as long as another slebbite possesses it. The knowledge of the skill is lost after 24hrs. There is a 1-25% chance that no slebbite possesses the skill you desire, depending on how obscure it is.